/¯\ |\/| |¯| |¯| |¯| | |\| |¯ | |¯ |¯| | | | ¯/ |¯| | | |¯\ |¯ |¯\ | | | | | |_ |¯ |_|_ |_| | /_ ¯ ¯ written mostly by LAVOS and J2 on ROFLTIME RADIO 7/4/09 with CONTRIBUTIONS by THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF #CAFFEINELOUNGE What would you do if, everywhere he went, Mr. Pringle left a trail of tiny unwrapped peppermints that came out of his pant legs? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a master seamster and only used his powers for bad? What would you do if I put Mr. Pringle on the back of my truck? What would you do if I was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle gave you a kiss? What would you do if Mr. Pringle got a gold moustache? What would you do if Mr. Pringle stole your car? What would you do if Mr. Pringle took you to the prom? What would you do if you saw Mr. Pringle burying a body in your front lawn? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was burying YOUR body? What would you do if you were burying Mr. Pringle's body? What would you do if you accidentally killed Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle gave you a lifetime supply of Mr. Pringle's Olde Englishtime Snack Chippes? What would you do if Mr. Pringle got engaged before he was 21? What would you do if Mr. Pringle got engaged to you? What would you do if Mr. Pringle mowed the wrong side of his lawn? What would you do if Mr. Pringle tunneled into your basement and stole all of your Easy Mac? What would you do if an exterminator found a colony of Mr. Pringles living inside your walls? What would you do if they found an infectious Mr. Pringle in your leg? What would you do if Mr. Pringle drove a plane into the Chrysler building? What would you do if Mr. Pringle just died on the spot? What would you do if Mr. Pringle put a bandana around his eyes and started running around, claiming he was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle put a top hat on his other top hat? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had a top hat? What would you do if Mr. Pringle stole your PS3? What would you do if Mr. Pringle went out by your window and serenaded you? What would you do if you saw a shadow of Mr. Pringle's moustache on the moon? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was enveloped by moon-mist? What would you do if Mr. Pringle's moustache had legs? What would you do if Mr. Pringle said he loved you? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was passed out on your couch after a party that went on for way too long? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was found unconcious laying on your chandelier? What would you do if if you went to a church, and instead of stained glass portraits of Jesus and Mary, there was just a black velvet poster of Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was turned into a Pringles cantenna by accident? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was no longer a pringle? What would you do if Mr. Moviefone resigned and was replaced by Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wore a cloak and sang lullabies in the park? What would you do if you went to the Bowery Ballroom to see Elton John, but it was Mr. Pringle laying on a piano instead? What would you do if a clone of Mr. Pringle came back from the future? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was actually a cloud of Nanopringles? What would you do if a clone of Mr. Pringle came back from the future? What would you do if Mr. Pringle's moustache was actually a colony of bacteria? What would you do if, when they revved up the Hadron Collider, Mr. Pringle came forth? What would you do if the bald guy who plays keyboard for David Letterman was hospitalized, and for one show, was replaced by Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Kenan and Kel turned into Kenan and Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle started beatboxing while sat next to you on the subway? What would you do if Mr. Pringle played Knytt? What would you do if you saw Mr. Pringle passed out in front of Madison Square Garden with a piece of cardboard that says "pringle, pringle"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle played a tiny bell whenever you spoke? What would you do if the assistant at the furniture store's manager was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if there was a rude customer at the counter and it was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you were working at the zoo and a woman claimed she was still a member, although her membership expired years ago - but you looked in her baby carriage and it was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if they found a suspected terrorist at the airport, and on the closed circuit television, you see Mr. Pringle dart his head from behind the terrorist's body? What would you do if you were at a pet store and you see a Mr. Pringle fish tank ornament? What would you do if you were reading some terrible fanfiction about Abraham Lincoln and the author is Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you were Mr. Pringle, writing some terrible fanfiction - and Abraham Lincoln did not like it? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was revelead to be the King of England? What would you do if Mr. Pringle gave you a prize, but it was just a sardine? What would you do if you went to the hospital and the assistant handed the surgeon Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you got into a car accident, and you went to the car that was hit, and you saw Mr. Pringle behind the wheel? What would you do if Mr. Pringle dipped his clarinet in acid, and when he played, tiny toxic bubbles were made? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was revelead to be Sherlock Holmes? What would you do if Mr. Pringle grew a moustache? What would you do if Mr. Pringle's moustache grew a moustache? What would you do if Mr. Pringle liked something that you didn't? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was actually Santa Claus? What would you do if the floating disembodied head of Mr. Pringle visited you on Christmas Eve? What would you do if you found out Mr. Pringle was real, and he was dead? What would you do if the deathly ghost of Mr. Pringle turned into some sort of terrible being, and you had to kill it to defend the name of Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was secretly authoring your favorite blog? What would you do if Mr. Pringle replaced his vocal cords with a vocoder? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the root of all problems? What would you do if your best friend's only Myspace friend was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle thought about winking, but he didn't, but you knew he just thought about it because he wrote it down? What would you do if you'd been going out with Mr. Pringle for a month and didn't realize he was a man? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was your cableman? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the photographer of your least favorite picture? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had been a beluga whale all this time? What would you do if you're watching a Lexus commercial, and Mr. Pringle is just sort of hanging out next to the actress? What would you do if you bought a book of Garfield comics, but every punchline was about Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wanted lasagna, and you'd just made some, but you wanted it all for yourself? What would you do if Mr. Pringle taped himself to Mr. Peanut? What would you do if you were lost in the woods on a dark night and you see Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle released an album and it was all avant-garde - like out-of-tune oboes? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was elected president but you think he rigged it? What would you do if you went on a date with Mr. Pringle, but he wanted to wait a year to make love? What would you do if Mr. Pringle beat you for mispronouncing his name? What would you do if you just got a job at a depressing office and Mr. Pringle was your passive-agressive manager? What would you do if Mr. Pringle drew Dilbert? What would you do if the Windows 7 logo was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Bill Gates' middle name was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you finally bought an Akai MPC1000 after months of saving, but every drum pad produced the sound "Mr. Pringle"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was made of asbestos and high fructose corn syrup? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had 50% Less Fat? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was actually a chibi? What would you do if you needed a letter of reccomendation from Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle shouted "FREEBIRD" at your show? What would you do if Mr. Pringle overheard you say Pringles were "such a gyp"? What would you do if you got off an airplane after a long, tiring flight for a business trip, but a small crowd of Mr. Pringles greeted you with cheers? What would you do if someone gave you a single Mr. Pringle with their phone number? What would you do if you found a dollar on the floor, but instead of George Washington, it featured Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle emancipated the slaves? What would you do if Mr. Pringle taught Chemistry 2, but you really didn't like Chemistry 1 and you kind of did bad in it? What would you do if all of your internet friends hated Mr. Pringle? What would you do if your mom said that you can never discuss Mr. Pringle in her household ever again? What would you do if Mr. Pringle crashed through a wall at your wedding and shouted "Oh Yeah!"? What would you do if your best friend was getting married to Mr. Pringle, but you didn't think your friend was good enough for him? What would you do if you found Mr. Pringle's body in the foundation of your house? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was stuck to one of your fly traps? What would you do if you spent 20 minutes waiting, but as soon as you disassemble your tripod, you finally see Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle assaulted you? What would you do if Mr. Pringle killed John F. Kennedy? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a member of a different social clique - one that your clique declared enemies? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a member of Parliament? What would you do if you were in an Australian Knife Fight with Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you had to fight Mr. Pringle with an Australian Knife? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the Shadow Chancellor? What would you do if Mr. Pringle secretly wrote your favorite webcomic? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was your preschool teacher, but you were too young to realize at the time? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the doctor that delivered you, but disappeared when you started asking questions? What would you do if Mr. Pringle offered you a chance to earn credit at an accredited university? What would you do if you got a piece of your neighbor's mail, but it was addressed from Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was performing live in your town, but you had an important test the next day? What would you do if you went to a shoe store, but as soon as you took your current shoes off to try on another pair, you found Mr. Pringle stuck to the bottom of one of them? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had been stuck to your leg all day and you didn't notice it? What would you do if you open a really old book at a public library, and when you open it up, there's a cutout in the pages of Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was your high school bully, but now as adults, you are forced to work with him? What would you do if you buy an iPhone on launch day and the default wallpaper is Mr. Pringle? What would you do if a movie was made about your life and Mr. Pringle got the lead role and you just played your best friend? What would you do if your only place in the history books was as Mr. Pringle's assistant? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the lead suspect in a homicide, and you were the detective? What would you do if Mr. Pringle, dressed as a police officer, came to your school to teach you about drugs? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the principal of your elementary school without even realizing? What would you do if you were on Wheel of Fortune, and the answer to every puzzle is Mr. Pringle, and it's so obvious to you but everyone else is confused? What would you do if you call 911 after your best friend is hurt in a landslide and Mr. Pringle shows up at the scene in a pizza delivery van? What would you do if you order a pizza and Mr. Pringle drives up and offers you a delicious filet mignon on a platter? What would you do if Mr. Pringle drunkenly asked you for your number? What would you do if you went down into a pothole and Mr. Pringle followed you out? What would you do if you visit your old elementary school, and where the playground once had a blacktop map of the United States, there is now a printed image of Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you go skydiving, and just as you're about to jump, you see Mr. Pringle peek out at you from behind a cloud? What would you do if, as you're standing on a sidewalk, Mr. Pringle drives by and tells you to fasten your seat belt? What would you do if Mr. Pringle threw a non-biodegradable object out of his Corvette? What would you do if your children finds Mr. Pringle's moustache buried in the sand at the beach? What would you do if Mr. Pringle washed ashore your island? What would you do if the lead singer of your favorite band quit and is replaced by Mr. Pringle? What would you do if the president of the United States declared war on Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you're in a pillow fight, but all of the feathers that come out are Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle is your tennis instructor, but he has no idea how to play the game? What would you do if your roommate did not believe in Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you saw a squirrel holding an acorn from afar, but as you move closer, you realize it's a tiny wooden Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Simon Cowell and Mr. Pringle started a new reality show? What would you do if you were barbecuing and run out of charcoal, but as you open up the grill to replace it, the image of Mr. Pringle is burned into the bowl? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a politician who spoke out against your favorite cause? What would you do if Mr. Pringle told you to stop following your dream and become a bank manager? What would you do if you're at a casino and all of the slot machines' icons are Mr. Pringles? What would you do if Mr. Pringle appeared in a dream but didn't do much of anything? What would you do if Mr. Pringle showed up at your door dressed as a girl scout? What would you do if you saw a sign that said "Have you seen Mr. Pringle?", but you just saw him the other day and he's not even lost? What would you do if a statue of Mr. Pringle was erected on the roof of your apartment building? What would you do if Mr. Pringle covered his roof with grass? What would you do if Mr. Pringle popped out of your toilet and said "please stop"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wrote a mathmatical equation and told you to evaluate it, lest he kill you? What would you do if Mr. Pringle took his shirt off at your funeral? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the captain of your bar mitzvah? What would you do if ordered a book from Amazon.com and instead of packing peanuts, it was cushioned with little styrofoam models of Mr. Peanut? What would you do if Mr. Pringle controlled all of the oxygen, but you were friends with him? What would you do if Mr. Pringle threw up on your clothes and didn't even apologize? What would you do if every secret message was "Mr. Pringle"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle hosted a yawnathon for charity? What would you do if Mr. Pringle actually wrote all of the Beatles' hit songs? What would you do if Mr. Peanut assassinated Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was actually an actor in whiteface? What would you do if the fertile crescent was made up of tiny Mr. Pringles? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the only heat source in the universe? What would you do if it was revealed that Soylent Green was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you run a marathon, and the only person giving out water is Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle handed you a napkin and winked? What would you do if you're asleep in a Chicago hotel and are awakened by Mr. Pringle pouring salt in your ear? What would you do if a hysterical Mr. Pringle called you from his suite in a hotel in France and yelled "YOU HAVE TO COME GET ME RIGHT AWAY!!"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle hated science, but was your childhood idol? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wrote a book about Bill Clinton's life? What would you do if you voted for Mr. Pringle for public office, but he actually didn't deliver on any of his promises? What would you do if Mr. Pringle quoted something, but said it wrong? What would you do if Mr. Pringle made a reference to something you really enjoyed? What would you do if Mr. Pringle kept making references to something he thought you enjoyed but actually didn't know? What would you do if Mr. Pringle showed up to your wedding and put a Pringle in each chair? What would you do if you found your wife making out with Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you cracked open a lobster and a swarm of tiny enraged Mr. Pringles come out? What would you do if that spider bite on your arm turns out to be a mass of baby Mr. Pringles? What would you do if Mr. Pringle made the blogosphere real, but only invited people he liked? What would you do if Mr. Pringle got married and changed his name to Mr. Pringle-Baxter? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was revelead to be Jack White? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had been born without a moustache? What would you do if you got stuck in Mr. Pringle's mansion, but the only person on your cell phone was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you're playing Super Mario Brothers, but the end boss is replaced with Mr. Pringle? What would you do if there was a band called Los Hombres Del Mr. Pringle? What would you do if it was revelead that the lead singer of your least favorite band was Mr. Pringle in his younger days? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was actually a species of zooplankton before evolving? What would you do if there were two Mr. Pringles? Which one would you shoot? What would you do if you saw Mr. Pringle keying your car in your own driveway? What would you do if the mayor of your town had an affair with Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle changed the constitution with a permanent marker to read "Mr. Pringle Rulez"? What would you do if you found a notebook on the floor of a dark chamber, and if you wrote in it, every word looked like Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wore a suit that you thought you'd lost? What would you do if you're laying with your friend on a grassy hill, naming the shapes of clouds, when Mr. Pringle comes by on a biplane? What would you do if Mr. Pringle owned the only blimp? What would you do if Mr. Pringle controlled all of the hydrogen? What would you do if Mr. Pringle moved to Spain and became a radio host? What would you do if Mr. Pringle moved back to America and called himself "Senor Pringle"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle played a burning guitar with his teeth? What would you do if Mr. Pringle stole your girlfriend? What would you do if you were looking through old family photo albums and you see a photo of Mr. Pringle marring your mother? What would you do if you see a photo of Mr. Pringle standing on the beach with your grandmother, with the text "I will always be there for you, Marilyn"? What would you do if you see a photo of your aged grandmother on the same beach in the same pose, but with an airbrushed image of Mr. Pringle's face ghostily added on the horizon? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had a New England accent? What would you do if Mr. Pringle showed up at your college's drum circle with a saxophone? What would you do if Pacman and Mr. Pringle fought to the death? What would you do if Mr. Pringle accidentally drank motor oil? What would you do if Mr. Pringle lost his bow tie? What would you do if you called up tech support to try to get your wireless router to work, but after a stunned minute, you finally place the voice reading the list of departments and languages as Mr. Pringle's? What would you do if every password was "Mr. Pringle"? What would you do if you found out Mr. Pringle had a weird fetish and you didn't know how to approach him about it? What would you do if Mr. Pringle poured a bunch of corn husks onto your head as you slept? What would you do if you go on a walk through the city at night and you see Mr. Pringle replacing all of the regular lightbulbs in the streetlights with red ones? What would you do if Mr. Pringle told you he didn't like your haircut, but everyone else saw a vast improvement? What would you do if you bought a Bugs Bunny waffle iron on eBay and you didn't know Mr. Pringle came with it? What would you do if Mr. Pringle obnoxiously repeated everything he thought to be funny? What would you do if take your niece to the doctor while your brother's at work, and in the waiting room, Mr. Pringle is playing with the beads on wires? What would you do if Mr. Pringle made you wait for no reason? What would you do if you're at the laundromat and Mr. Pringle asked you for some bleach? What would you do if you look into your washing machine and Mr. Pringle is staring out, banging on the glass pane - but when you open it, he's not there? What would you do if Mr. Pringle gave a speech at your graduation? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a childhood friend that you lost touch with, but then you realized that he's famous and you're in debt? What would you do if you realized Mr. Pringle is never going to give you back that $20? What would you do if you borrow an external hard drive from your friend and all of the files on it are images of Mr. Pringle in suggestive poses? What would you do if you found a torrent of Mr. Pringle pornography? (Answer: you weren't that interested, but how could you refuse?) What would you do if the original voice of Mr. Pringle was Jim Henson? What would you do if you found out Mr. Pringle was just a cardboard prop? What would you do if you found out that Mr. Pringle didn't actually sing at his concerts? What would you do if you roll down your window to yell at a driver who just cut you off, but before you can, you hear Mr. Pringle complacently singing Bohemian Rhapsody in a truck in the next lane? What would you do if Mr. Pringle stopped trucking? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wore blackface? What would you do if Mr. Pringle wrote a controversial children's book? What would you do if Glenn Beck was friends with Mr. Pringle? What would you do if it turned out that Mr. Pringle lied about the time he met Little Richard? What would you do if Mr. Pringle asked you to buy some Crisco at the store but didn't tell you why? What would you do if you bought a three-hole-punch, but instead of little circles, it turns out to cut little Mr. Pringles? What would you do if you had a blurred photo of Mr. Pringle at the office party? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was conspiring to kill your best friend? What would you do if Mr. Pringle punched you? What would you do if you were in the freezer aisle of the grocery store and Mr. Pringle stared at you from beyond a glass door? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the bullseye of every dartboard? What would you do if Mr. Pringle made a racist joke that you found offensive? What would you do if Mr. Pringle handed you a Sacagawea dollar when you were working as a McDonald's cashier? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was orange and sounded like a parrot? What would you do if you realized Mr. Pringle, underneath his bond-white skin, was a secret robot? What would you do if Mr. Pringle had a secret crush on your mom? What would you do if Mr. Pringle told you to drop out of school and work a remedial job, and that you should trust him because he's an expert? What would you do if you taught Mr. Pringle at a prestigious medical school, but saw him sweeping the streets two years later? What would you do if saw great promise in Mr. Pringle, but he ended up squandering it as a drunkard? What would you do if Mr. Pringle told you it was time for quietness? What would you do if Mr. Pringle popped out of your wall? What would you do if Mr. Pringle streaked across your lawn? What would you do if Mr. Pringle cold-called you and tried to sell you lawn insurance? What would you do if Mr. Pringle dressed up as a sheik, but in an extremely offensive way? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was serious for the first time ever? What would you do if you reached into the pocket of a blazer you hadn't worn in a while and you pull out Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle gave you his father's military jacket and told you to always treasure it and never wash it? What would you do if you recieved a medal of honor for defending your country, but the award is just a small aluminum Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you are nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards, and Mr. Pringle smiles at you from the crowd? What would you do if you were at a department store and Mr. Pringle offered you a cologne sample? What would you do if Mr. Pringle started a technology podcast? What would you do if started his own line of pants called "prants"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a London-based company that made artificial midgets? What would you do if you sneeze into a tissue, and when you unfold it, you see Mr. Pringle? What would you do if you looked at the Shroud of Turin and realize that instead of Jesus, the image is of Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle test fired a missile off of your porch? What would you do if Mr. Pringle carried a bottle of Windex everywhere he went? What would you do if Mr. Pringle owned a showboat? What would you do if Mr. Pringle gave you a haircut that was longer than what you came in with? What would you do if Mr. Pringle told a racist joke that you thought was kind of funny, but you were in a public setting? What would you do if Mr. Pringle's head was a television? What would you do if Mr. Pringle's back read "Peanut Wuz Here"? What would you do if Mr. Pringle tried to play poker with an pinocle deck? What would you do if a love note but misspelled every other word, but you still wanted it to be real? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a late night talk show host, directly competing with Lost? What would you do if Mr. Pringle revealed all of the plot twists for every movie that will ever come out? What would you do if Mr. Pringle didn't want to do his job anymore, but you were forced to support his decision? What would you do if Mr. Pringle forgot to get you a Christmas gift? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was a polygamist? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was an illegal immigrant and you knew? What would you do if Mr. Pringle did not listen to any of your pleas? What would you do if Mr. Pringle left footprints everywhere he went? What would you do if "Mr. Pringle" was written on the side of your house? What would you do if Mr. Pringle nudged you in the side and then looked away? What would you do if Mr. Pringle walked into your home and said "you're on in five minutes"? What would you do if you tried to change the channel of a TV at an electronics store and the only thing on every other channel was Mr. Pringle? What would you do if someone gave you a tape and told you not to watch it, but the tape had a small sticker of Mr. Pringle? What would you do if Mr. Pringle took steroids? What would you do if Mr. Pringle started his own mafia and asked you to join? What would you do if the Cult of Mr. Pringle had your little brother? What would you do if you found out Mr. Pringle never had a mother? What would you do if you opened your door and there was a tiny Mr. Pringle in a basket on your doorstep? What would you do if you asked Mr. Pringle to housesit for you while you were on vacation, and when you come home, he is tearing off your wallpaper? What would you do if both of Mr. Pringle's kidneys failed, and only you could help him? What would you do if there was a hair sticking out of Mr. Pringle and it really bothered you? What would you do if Mr. Pringle killed Dumbledore? What would you do if Mr. Pringle was the sled? What would you do if Mr. Pringle accidentally swallowed one of your cats?